이별후의 생각

1년 넘어서 사귀었던 남자 친구랑 헤어졌다. 4일 전이였는데 아직도 마음이 아프고 공허하다. 남자친구를 생각할 때마다 내가 나쁜 사람인다고 생각한다. 남자 친구가 사실 나에게 너무 잘해지고 사랑도 많이 줬는데 내 마음 깊숙히 이 사람이 아닌다고 생각해졌다.  내가 하고 싶은것은 하나님의 원하시는 것인데 기도한 후에 헤어질거라고 느겼는데 내 마음이였으면 지금이라도 결혼하고 싶지만 기도하고 좀 헤어지겠다 이렇게 생각이 달라졌다. 하지만 이걸 변할 수 있지? 내가 잘 못 느꼈나? 하나님의 계획이면 언젠가 또 만날 수 있겠나..? 아 잘 모르겠다.

이별은 원래 너무 아프고 힘든 것이다. 내 아픈 마음을 위로해지게 블로그서 헤어지기에 대한 기사를 읽었는데 내가 쓴 글 아니라 읽었던 글인데 이건 지금 딱 나의 느낌이다: “이별 후 마음이 가장 아플 때는 늘 아침인사와 굿나잇 인사를 카톡으로 보내줬었는데.. 자고 눈떠서핸드폰을 확인했는데 아무것도 와 있지 않을 때..”

제일 힘든건 딱 그거다. 아침에 일어나자마자 핸드폰을 확인하고 남자친구에세 아무 문자가 없고 카톡이나 라인에 들어가면 남자친구의 연락처도 없어졌다. 빈방으로. 

궁금한게 하나 있는데 사람이 어떻게 눈물이 이렇게 많았을까? 정말 끝임없이 눈물이 난것 같네. 

지금은 나의 마음을 잘 표현 할 수가 없다. 생각해보면 너무 사이가 좋았고 정말 깊게 사랑에 빠찐 연애였지만 반면에 뭔가 아쉽고 뭘 좀 필요했었다. 나에게 가장 중요한건 남들말고 하나님이신데 자기의 원하는거 말고 하나님의 원하시는 걸로 해야 한다고 믿는다. 

지금이랑 아마 한 두달 뒤까지 아플거지만 시간이 약이지? 두달아니라 1년 후에 아직도 아플까? 

어쩔 수가 없다. 이별은 그냥 … 한국어로 어떻게 쓰는건지.. part of life. 

내 남자친구(이제 그렇게 불을 수 없지?)에게 할말이 있다. 오빠, 우리 헤어진 이유룰 잘 모르지? 나도 설명 못하지만 결국 이렇게 됬네. 미안하고…사랑해. 

 

duolingosassattack:

wtfduolingo:

same.

SAME. Shout out to my followers.
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aneverydaysomething:

a cool drink

いいね
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miuroll:

能登ミルク NOTO MILK

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몇시간 전에 남자친구랑 헤어졌다. 아직도 아파

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attemptinglinguistics sent: Hi!!! I saw you know/are learning Hindi, and that seems like a rarity in the linguistics world (most people learn European languages and/or Japanese, Chinese, Korean), so I'm super excited to find you! I'm learning Hindi right now, although I only know a little. I've been using Rosetta Stone but it's kind of a bust. Any suggestions for material to use? I'd appreciate the help :D

I havent really dived into Hindi yet but I will be using Living Language, I quite like them for resources! Teach Yourself is a good series too. Glad to find another language learner! Where are you from? :D 

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rishtaywaliaunty sent: yeah we did spoke before :) i asked you where you lived in islamabad :D i used to live in rawalpindi till 1999 and islamabad will always feel like always :) there is something magical about islamabad right??!! anyways you know you are like my favourite person ever coz you study/studied graphic design and you love languages and you are adorable i just want to hug you :D so hows your internship going .. and thats okay i know you are busy :)

Hahah youre so sweet! Sorry if I replied late. I really wanna go back to Islamabad soon! :D It was a short internship but I will do it again at the same design office next year! So excited. What languages are you interested in?

dogstheymakeupthedark sent: You probably get this asked a lot, but I hope it's alright to ask you nevertheless. I was learning japanese for a few months and was able to write both Hiragana and Katakana and started to learn the basic grammar and Kanji. But then I somehow lost motivation and sadly just stopped with everything. Now I want to try it again and I wanted to ask you how are you able to gain the motivation to keep on learning? Also, is it a good way of learning to teach japanese yourself over the internet?

Hi! No problem :3 
Motivation becomes a problem if learning is difficult in the beginner stage or when you reach an intermediate plateau, so dont worry! Try to find something you enjoy and then do it in Japanese, whether it be watching music videos, tv, or reading. Motivation for me is what I can use the language for in the future (for me it would be a job). You can get motivation if you find a penpal who speaks the language and you want to communicate with them. Try writing a diary on websites like italki.com or lang-8.com, that could help too. Good luck!

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rishtaywaliaunty sent: hey umm i was stalking your blog and you posted some time ago that you will teach korean just talk to me so here i am talking to you hello my name is ayesha im from pakistan i think you are adorable

Hey! I think we spoke before, I used to live in Islamabad :D If you ever need help with Korean you can send any questions here! Sorry for late reply.

I beg my colleagues to sit down and let’s work this out. Veterans are dying. This is not a policy, academic issue here. This is the very lives of the men and women who are serving.

Sen. John McCain, on the battle in Congress over how much to spend on reshaping the troubled Veterans Affairs Department. Though the House and Senate overwhelmingly approved separate bills in June to speed up veterans’ access to care, they still disagree on the price tag, and it’s unclear whether the legislation will pass in the few days left before Congress adjourns for its August recess. (via latimes) —

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中文词汇表

languageramblings:

瘦 (shòu) - thin, skinny

讨厌 (tǎo yàn) - annoying, irritating

脸 (liǎn) - face

消息 (xiāo ) - news, information

挺 (tǐng) - very

声音 (shēng yīn) - sound, noise

关心 (guān xīn) - concern

乖 (guāi) - well-behaved

建议 (jiàn yì) - to recommend

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cca-is-humane:

The things I send my friends
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ileftmyheartintokyo:

naka meguro by yongseok -_- on Flickr.

I will forever remember walking this road to my internship  <3

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